


Roots Before Branches

by andyouknowitis



Series: It's a beautiful sound, It's a beautiful noise. [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 10:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14639705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andyouknowitis/pseuds/andyouknowitis
Summary: Robert doesn't have to ask where he is.He knows, because it's going to be the same place he's found him any time there's a quiet moment this past week, at those times when Robert's gotten lost in catching up on the accounts, or been making dinner, or worse still been on a call with Jimmy about something or other, baby monitor always close at hand, half an ear out in case Seb wakes.He doesn't say anything even though he knows Aaron has been switching the monitor off at those times. He doesn't have to hear (or not as the case may be) to know.He knows.Just like he knows now's the time to talk about it again. Because Aaron needs to hear it.





	Roots Before Branches

Robert doesn't have to ask where he is.

He knows, because it's going to be the same place he's found him any time there's a quiet moment this past week, at those times when Robert's gotten lost in catching up on the accounts, or been making dinner, or worse still been on a call with Jimmy about something or other, baby monitor always close at hand, half an ear out in case Seb wakes.

He doesn't say anything even though he knows Aaron has been switching the monitor off at those times. He doesn't have to hear (or not as the case may be) to know.

He knows.

Just like he knows now's the time to talk about it again. Because Aaron needs to hear it.

*

Seb, as predicted, was asleep. He's been thankfully mostly keeping up his deal of sleeping well when he's here still, and Robert wonders if it's something about The Mill itself that soothes him.

Or someone.

That Seb was laid against Aaron's chest as his husband walked about the room slowly murmuring soft words, a hand laid over one small baby hand, (which was curled up and clutching at Aaron's mulberry coloured Henley), was also not a surprise. He'd have been more shocked if he'd found him elsewhere at this point, frankly.

Aaron flicked a glance at him, half defensive, the words spilling out of his mouth in a pre-emptive whisper. “He was fussing a bit. I still don't think he's ready for in here. And I think maybe we're gonna get some teething soon.” He glanced down, brow furrowed. “Is it too early? I need to ask Paddy when Leo got his first. He keeps trying to stuff the drawstring from my hoodie in his mouth, so I to need to think about knotting those up an-”

Robert fought to keep his lips from forming a smile. “Aaron.”

Aaron's eyebrows drew together, scowl forming. “What? Do you want him to choke? If he wants something to chew on maybe we need to think about those teething ring things.”

Robert just fixed him with a look.

Aaron tilted his chin up. “Shhh. You'll wake him.”

Robert's eyebrows rose. “Me? You're the one talking for England.” He shook his head, bemused. “And besides, we're both bloody whispering.”

Neither of them mentioned the fact that said whispers had become their default mode of communication after Seb had put in the world's worst restless night that first week they had him stay over. Some things you just learned.

A moment of silence passed when little could be heard but the soft snuffle of Seb's breathing.

Robert waited.

Aaron rolled his eyes, another hissed whisper escaping his lips as he ran a gentle hand down Seb's back. “God, give it rest will ya?”

Robert just indicated the cot next to him, lips twitching. They'd only really been testing out settling him in the cot in the nursery, rather than the Moses basket in their room, for the past week or so, and maybe they were both suffering with a little bit of separation anxiety at the idea of leaving him in a different room all night (all but right next door granted), but Aaron was definitely the one (of the two of them) who had been _hovering._

Aaron huffed, but finally made his way across the carpet, extracting Seb's fingers from his shirt and settling him into the cot gently, albeit with the grumpy scowl safely intact as his eyes met Robert's again. “Alright, there. You satisfied?”

Seb might have relinquished his hold on the Henley but was now holding one of Aaron's fingers. Even in sleep, it seemed, he was loathe to let go completely. Robert could only empathise. If his voice grew soft now, well, he had cause. “He loves you, you know.”

Aaron's silence speaks volumes and as tempting as it is to fill that space with more reassurance, he waits again.

Aaron's words are barely audible now. But Robert hears him. “Does he? Still?”

Robert shook his head, mildly exasperated. He'd known this was it. “Of course he does. You look after him. You love him. He _knows_ you.”

Robert laid a hand on Aaron's lower back, the other coming to rest on the edge of the cot. “Listen to me. Liv will come round. I know she will. I know this week's been hard, but she's just needed time. Space to think. And to know that we hear what she's been saying. We'll make sure she gets the support she needs. Talk more. We're in touch with that teacher daily. She's still doing her work and going to class. He said they'd call us if anything changed.” He rubbed soothing circles into the tension laced across Aaron's back. “We will get her through this, Aaron, I promise you, we _will._ ”

Aaron finally drew his finger free of Seb's, smoothing out a non-existent wrinkle on his pale grey babygro, before drawing back and stalking across to the window, voice pitched slightly now. “How though? How do we not make it worse? I can't even say sorry if she won't see me.” His shoulders tensed again as his head fell forward, eyes meeting the ground once more. “I'm a shit brother. Never mind a parent. And that's what she needed.” He looked up again, blue eyes clouded. “I failed her, Robert.” He shook his head again. “I totally messed up. And I know we're gonna work through it like we said, but I just-” He gestured helplessly at the cot behind them. “I mean, I'm rubbish at this. He's just a baby and I'm already hurting him too.”

Robert didn't sigh. But it was a close thing.

_Jesus, you idiot. I love you. But you don't half make it hard on yourself._

Instead he walked across the room and turned Aaron towards him, fixing him with a stare, as he rested his hands on either side of his neck. “Okay, look at me. I need you to hear me. Are you ready?”

“Leave off.” Aaron tried to shrug his hands away, but if he was trying to out stubborn Robert Sugden on this point, well it wasn't happening.

It was Robert's turn to roll his eyes, response just as pithy. “No.”

Aaron stared at him mutinously for a moment, neck muscles taut against Robert's fingers. Robert stared back, unmoving. Whatever he saw in Robert's eyes then had him relenting, the fight draining out of him. Not that the scowl went anywhere. _Yet._

Aaron eyed him. “Okay, what?”

Robert smiled despite himself. “Right. Just to say that's a load of crap. You want to shovel some shit, I'll send you over to help Zak for an hour, he could probably do with a hand now, with Lisa gone, but you're not doing it here. No more pity parties. Liv deserves better. And so do you.”

Aaron bristled at that. “What? Like you're parent of the year?”

Robert let that one slide, exasperation colouring his voice again.“Wow, breaking news, we're all parents who are sometimes shit at it, who had parents who were sometimes shit at it too.” He tilted his head, musing. “D'ya think Chas and Paddy wonder if you love them after some of the stuff they've pulled?”

Aaron laid his hands on Robert's wrists in a half-arsed attempt to peel them away, irritation colouring his voice. “Of course I love them. Don't be stupid.”

Robert raised his eyebrows, tone mocking, hands held steady. “Oh, really? That right? Do you think Seb knows I didn't want him before he was born?”

“That's not wha-”

Robert shook his head. “No, no listen. Do you think he knows what I did to my husband and how I fought with his mother, and how some of those horrible things I did lead to that accident?” Robert's eyes pierced his husband's. “Does he know, Aaron? Will he hate me when he finds out?”

Aaron's soft _no_ is barely formed. The _of course he won't, you love him, he knows you love him,_ goes unspoken. But Robert can feel it in the way Aaron finally lets himself sink against his chest. He brings his arms around him then, holding him close as rain starts to fall outside the window.

They stayed like that for a minute or two, just holding on, before Robert spoke again, words soft in Aaron's ear.

“Aaron, all he knows is that you're there for him when he needs you, right? Air smells funny? You're there holding him and making it go all away. Nasty, bad man holding him? You're right there, making sure he forgets. Nappy needs changing?” Robert's almost silent laugh was muffled against Aaron's hair. “Well...you're getting there.”

Aaron nipped smartly at his arse for that one. He looked up now, eyes still a little troubled, but easier. “Give me time.” Another frown then. “I...all that though. What if he starts associating me with danger and shit like that?”

Robert couldn't help the laugh that spilled out, before Aaron swiftly clapped a hand over his mouth. He shook his head in contrition as they both glanced over at the cot.

_Still sleeping. Thank god._

Robert shifted back to a whisper. “This is us, Aaron. Maybe it comes with the territory a bit. I mean, think about it.” His eyebrows rose. “He was born premature, he's been in a high speed car chase, escaped a fire, and a kidnapper, not to mention my first attempts at feeding him. All that and he's barely six months old.” Robert smoothed a thumb down Aaron's cheek. “He's a fighter.” Robert's smile softened. “Just like you.”

Aaron's brow furrowed. “It's just, I mean I know he doesn't know what I said. But they sense things sometimes don't they? The books say that they can. And I just never want him to feel like he's not wanted. I'd hate it if he ever felt that, if he felt that I..that I didn't...”

He trailed off, but Robert heard the words he couldn't say. And hoped desperately that he could find the way to get him past this. This idea that his love wasn't enough. Wasn't felt. That somehow still, he wasn't enough, as if, after everything, he felt like he was failing at this somehow; at being a family, of all things. Not just learning the way everyone else had to. And with a lot more in his heart that many ever began with. If he had to spend the rest of his life helping him believe it, he'd consider it the best thing he ever did. Because there was no-one he'd ever met with more love to give than Aaron, after living for so long without it.

_Starting now. Books indeed._

Robert's eyes grew warm as the smile crept across his face. “Oh, the books say do they?”

Aaron aimed an attempt at a glare at him then, although his lips were fighting an answering smile. “Shut up.”

Robert drew him close again. “I'm afraid too, you know. And you're much more a natural at all this than me. I'm still bloody terrified I'm gonna drop him when I'm with him on the stairs half the time.”

Robert didn't need to see his face to know Aaron was snickering. He could practically feel it against his chest, words muffled and laced with barely suppressed laughter. “That why you move at minus five miles per hour any time you're walking down is it?”

Robert drew his head back, eyes narrowed in amused consternation. “Here, just you wait until it's your ankle that's fucked and you're lying on the floor stuck there!”

Aaron grinned. “Wouldn't happen, mate.”

Robert let it slid, smiling with a nod towards the cot. “Anyway. He's well asleep now. And I'm pretty sure I can hear Gerry's snoring too, so...”

Aaron smirked, eyebrows rising. “So?”

Robert drew their foreheads together, voice low. “So, I want some time with my husband.” He smoothed his hand against the back of Aaron's neck. “My beautiful husband who is _Far. Too. Stressed.”_ He interspersed the last few words with kisses to the corner of Aaron's eyebrow, his cheekbone, and just behind his left ear.

Aaron hummed softly but let him continue his ministrations. “Thinking of fixing that are ya?”

Robert pressed his lips softly to his neck. “Think I can?”

Aaron gave one last glance at the cot, before grabbing Robert's hand with his own, and lifting one of the baby monitors with the other.

*

The spring rain brushed against the windowpanes, as Robert found himself lying over him as if he could fill all the gaps, a blanket against Aaron's skin. Love worn warmly. Cocks pressed together. Lips met. Hips rushed. Moving quietly. A mess of lube, and fingers, and so much want, that it still stuns him a little every time.

 _Love lives here,_ he thinks, _love lives here._

*

Aaron's leaning half off the bed, scrabbling around for the wipes he's just knocked over, arse in the air. Robert Sugden's not a man to waste a good view, so he just smiles, even as he feels impatience setting in. He liked a cuddle or two in the afterglow, so sue him. Sometimes he missed them using condoms regularly, just for the sheer ease of cleaning up more quickly afterwards, if nothing else. He grinned. Although there were other benefits which outweighed going the other way, it had to be said. _Still._

He tugged at Aaron's waist. “Come 'ere.”

“Mmmm. Hang on. Got them.” Aaron settled back into the pillows and chucked a couple of wipes at Robert's chest, wiping at his own skin as he went.

Robert shook his head. “Charming.”

Aaron clicked his tongue. “You make the mess, you clean it up.”

Robert balled one of the used wipes up and tossed it back in his direction. “He says, like he just didn't come all over me.” He struggled to keep his lips firm. “No self control you, that's your problem.”

He got a nudge in the ribs for that, as Aaron looked around when he couldn't see the bedside bin to throw the used wipes into. Robert sighed. _Fuck, right. He'd left it downstairs earlier after emptying it._

He said as much to Aaron, head tilt in place. “I did tell you to bring that back up when you were going.”

Aaron tutted, rolling his eyes, as he set the bundle of wrinkled wipes on the bedside table. “Moan, moan. Next you'll be telling me you like it better when you can come in my mouth just because it's tidier.”

Robert raised his chin, hiding the grin that was forming. “That might be one reason.”

The grin became fully fledged when Aaron tackled him to the mattress, both of them a bit giddy with muted laughter, as Aaron licked messy strips up the side of his face with muffled exclamations of, “Come on, Sugden, I know you like it dirty, don't pretend you don't.”

Aaron collapsed into him with a laugh when Robert licked nosily at the side of his nose in retaliation, so he got his cuddle in the end.

_They both did._

*

He felt like they hadn't dozed more than a few minutes when he jolted awake against Aaron's chest later. But a quick glance at the clock told him it was gone three a.m and Seb was crying in the background.

He felt Aaron tense beneath him as they both lay there for a few seconds. Then a few more.

Another minute passed.

_It didn't sound like his hungry cry, but how were you supposed to know for sure? What if it was his nappy? What if he just knew they weren't there?_

Robert rubbed a hand over his eyes and hauled himself up, and yawned. “I think we need to bring him back in for a bit.” He looked around blearily. “Did we bring the basket up?”

Aaron's up and nodding, pulling his boxers on, before Robert can even blink. “Thank fuck for that, because I can't do this controlled crying thing yet neither. He's too little.”

Robert rolled out a kink in his shoulder. “I can go.”

Aaron shook his head. “Don't be daft. I'm already up.” He flashed a smile as he fished his Henley up off the ground and pulled it over his head. “Besides, this means I get the lie-in later. I'm not slow, me.”

Robert's smile followed him out of the room.

 _You're where my family tree begins,_ he thinks, as he rests back against the pillow. _It works this time, because we've got the foundation right. And it all starts with you._

Growth is a wonderful thing.

*

“Alright, mate. Let's see. Right, well, your nappy's fine. Is it the rain? Bit noisy? Or you really got a tooth coming like I was saying? Hmmm. Just wanted a cuddle, did ya? Okay, up we go then. You need a hug, ever, you come to me alright? I'll be here. No, what did I tell you before, that doesn't go in your mouth. Come on, there we go, we'll go get a bottle on, see how that goes. Otherwise it's back in your basket for you. Yeah, we missed you too.”

*

Robert stretched and huddled under the duvet as he smiled at the baby monitor on the bedside table.

This time the light stayed on.

*

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was rattling around in my head in the latter half of the week and wouldn't quit until I wrote it down, so I guess if I have to live with it, you guys do too.
> 
> A good cuddle goes a long way.


End file.
